This is a repost, of comments I posted to the lovingdd.blogspot.com site ( a Great site, btw, if anyone is interested in the DD lifestyle). Even though we had had a DD marriage from the start, even before I knew what it was called (simply thought of it as a traditional marriage), we had never done preventative spanking, well, till this. And this was our only experience with it. He says he is happy with how things are, using a combination of real ones, for real lessons, and a Liberal use of preventative spankings.
My Husband had been stationed overseas, for some time, at the time I wrote this, and I had discovered the ldd site, and was forwarding him articles....
Hi, love your site, wish I would have found it years ago. I have been forwarding your articles to my husband (he is overseas now). I have lived in a DD relationship for 20 years, and love and respect my husband. He has always been firm and consistent, not put off by feminine tears or wiles if I've earned a punishment, but you have brought up many things for me to think about. I guess I'm still not sure about maintenance spankings, but, if he decides that it is something he is going to do, I will accept it, hopefully without fussing. LOL, guess if the thought of them bothers me so much, it means they are working already! Angie
At April 20, 2005, Anonymous said...
Hi, back again, can't figure out how to do a blogger id. Anyways, he emailed me back, and said yes, he Would be starting maintenance spankings when he got back home, and, that to start, it would be one a night for a week since he has been gone for six months now, and going to be a while till he gets back... man, want him to come home, but most nervous. Angie,
At February 03, 2006, Angie said...
Hi again, it's Angie again. He is still overseas but should be coming home soon. He still hasn't changed his mind on doing maintenance spankings, but did have me go back and reread the article several times, but I still wasn't getting it. I wrote him how I just didn't see the point, though if this is what he thought we needed, I of course would go along. What he told me made such a difference. He told me to slowly read the article this time, NOT to rush through it, to Write down the nine main points, and then put them away, and come back to it later, and Think about which of those applied to us the most. So, I did that. And my eyes opened up. 1. Maintain good attitude, and remind her of how painful a real discipline spanking could be. That hit home. Okay, I write stories about spanking, have been displine spanked many times, all deserved, but really, in all honesty, well, do forget just How awful the whole process is till it happens again. He has said the maintenance will be hard, but Not as hard as a full discipline session, but he is going to start out with one a day or night for a week, using a different implement each time, ones that have been used, sometimes Soley for discipline, never in play, so I will 'remember' in mind and body what they feel like... 2. Catch and punish any misbehavior that slipped by, and 3. A journal check. Okay, I'll admit that there are times, that in my heart of hearts that I've done something that I know wasn't right, but was maybe borderline on the does it need a spanking scale...but the bad feelings affect me almost worse than the actual misdeed. This Will help with that. 4. Reestablish the Male female bond. I can see that now. It IS different, whether its a play spanking, or a real one. The emotions, and feelings are different, and this will be an extension of that. 5. Scheduled stress relief. Can't argue with that one at all... 8. Preventing unconcious bratting. Okay, I don't try to brat, and I don't, well, not much, perhaps cause I get all the good girl spankings I want. But, gotta admit, something about it not being a play spanking that is going to make me think about things in a whole different light. 9. Reestablishing and encouraging my submission to him. thank you, I think I get it now. I know I'll be 'getting it' when he comes back home.... Angie
At March 16, 2006, Angie said...
Hey all, Well, it's been a few days since he has been back, after being away for over 15 months, and he is out right now, with his buds, fishing. I'm not, as sitting in a small boat that isn't moving only guarantees I'll be feeding the fishes. But, he decided that the hustle and bustle of the homecoming was over now, and, knowing me, didn't want me agonizing over when the dreaded maintenance spankings, 's' as in plural, were going to start. And, I wasn't being a smartmouth in the above paragraph, as I really would start to turn myself into a basket case if left to think about it too long. Anyhow... it started this morning. And he said it would be done in the morning, so I didn't have to worry about it coming all day long. Now, I get the concept, though others don't agree with it, about discipline spankings, and I don't like them, but I need them. I get stress relief, and I understand those...but I was having trouble with this concept. How was this supposed to keep me out of trouble? But, I had agreed to trust him on it. One of the things I was wondering about, since it's important for me, mentally, in many ways, is what I would be 'scolded' for, since this wasn't an actual punishment spanking... But, apparently Jack had been thinking about this too, all of it, like he normally does when he is doing something he feels is important. So, he sat me on his lap, and told me what was going to happen. That he was doing this to help bring us closer together, especially as we had been apart for so long, and he knew how hard that had been for me, and how hard it had been on me as well. And then he asked me if I remembered the vows I had wanted, when we were married, and I did, I wanted the old fashioned "To Love, Honor, and Obey..."which raised some eyebrows and caused some giggling, but was so right for us. And then he told me that this wasn't a punishment, but was to help reinforce our respective roles, and to remind me to be aware of what my 'problem' areas were, and, to remind me, to give me a reminder of what a punishment spanking Could be like... Then he stood me up, and sent me to get his brush! gulp! Apparently there Wasn't going to be any fooling around with this! I brought it back, most nervous, gave it to him, and squeaked as I found myself upended, and over his lap. Which is silly, as much time as I've been in that postition just over the last few days, but, this was different! This wasn't for fun, this was serious! The brush rested on my bare bottom, no panties, and my tshirt had already ridden up... and then he said that the lesson he wanted me to remember today, besides the general one of continued good behavior, but the specific one, was something that someone else had told me quite recently, that I was to remember to concentrate on one thing at a time, to only worry about doing as good of job as I could about that thing, and not obsess about everything else. And then the spanking started. Sharp spanks, medium paced, not overly hard, providing my bottom wasn't already pretenderized by several days of play! It didn't take terribly long, that I started to Really feel them. And there wasn't any sexy touching or playing, no teasing, with hands or words, and that made the mental tone different. I was reacting, in mind and body, as if I Had been bad, and was being punished. My oohs and ows and ouches were now coming in with the it hurts and pleassessss.... as well as starting to toss in a couple of sorry's, and the silly thing is, I meant it! My bottom and brain were both very much aware of the fact that I would Forever in the future remember to concentrate on one thing at a time, and not obsess about everything else! I was softly crying, he had made sure to cover most all the spank area, without overly concentrating on any one spot. And then he stopped, which I noticed after a bit. And he asked me if I thought I might remember now, what a hairbrushing was Really like... and I told him I did! And, with two last Harder swats, which provoked some good squeals, kicks, and more tears, he told me to remember that this was a sample, that a real punishment spanking would be a Lot worse, and I could feel my bottom clench... And then I was up and back on his lap, my arms around his neck, as I finished my crying, and he was holding me, and rubbing my bottom softly, and he asked if I thought I needed corner time or not. I shook my head no, just happy to be held, and I felt So close and So loved and So at peace.... And, then I got up, and made us some breakfast. love Angie
At April 01, 2006, Angie said...
My husband returned home, from being gone overseas for well over a year, a few weeks ago. Now, he has Always been the Head of our house, and I have been subject to spanking as a correction, if he thinks it's needed, for the 20 plus years we have been married. But, it wasn't till I came here, while he was gone, and discovered the LDD site, that we really ever thought about maintenance spankings. He had told me,that when he got home, we would be starting them, since I had been on my own for so long, as a way of reaffirming our roles. I did a lot of rereading and rereading the maintenance spanking article at the LDD site, you can see my thoughts posted there. But, I finally got it, what the concept was about. He had also told me that for the initial application of this discipline, I would get one a day, for a week, and that it would start a couple of days after he got home, when the rush was over, and we had some time to ourselves. True to his word, after the initial homecoming, several days later, it was time for my first maintenance spanking. It was in the morning, and he said that they would all be in the morning, as he knows how I fret, and felt it would be easier on me to simply get it done with. The first spanking was with the brush, and while not as hard, or as long, as a real full on punishment spanking would be, it was certainly not play, and there were more than just teary eyes when he was done, I was crying, and sorry. Oh, and something that he did, that Really brought home the concept of maintenance spanking to me, was that he had given me something to focus on, something I was supposed to remember. That day's lesson was on simply concentrating on doing One task at a time, relaxing, and doing one thing as well as I could. And by the time he was finished, I was most Sincerely telling him how well I had learned my lesson! Day two, St. Patrick's day, so the implement was the Irish convent strap from London Tanners, in honor, he said, of the day and my Irish background. And, once bare bottom up, he asked me first if I remembered what the first lesson was, and I told him Very quickly! Then, the new lesson. That days was to remind me Not to worry about what others thought about me, or base my actions on their opinions. Again, crying, but still not as hard as a real punishment would have been, but most assuredly not a play or fun spanking. No touching or teasing, this was a lesson. And so it went, each day, changing something, reaffirming the fact that He was in charge, not me, and that He, not I, would decide how discipline was administered. Everyday, a different position, or implement, perhaps corner time before, or in the middle... and of course, a different theme each day. The rest were: Day 3, the switch, and something new, an over the knee birch! Owiieee! Actually, started with the birch, which was like a thousand bees stinging my fanny at once, and then, after a bit of weepy corner time, bent over the couch, for the normal single switch! Ow! And that lesson was on the importance of watching my language. Day 4, the two tailed London Tanners' tawse, and a lesson in avoiding procrastination, when the task was something I didn't want to do, because I simply didn't like it or found it boring or distasteful. Day 5, the Adam and Gillian Loopy Johnny, and a reminder to watch my temper. Day 6, one of our strictest implements, the rubber strap, and a good lesson about safe driving and not speeding. Day 7, the Worst paddle we have, some of you may know this from the now defunct Naughty Victorians company, their Truly Amazing Grace paddle, Heavy, thick, holes. 'nuff said. And the focus of that lesson was on my problem with fibbing and lying, and the consequences that brings. Now, I know that sounds like a lot, but, it really was different, both in how he gave them, and mentally for me, then punishent would have been. As I was still quite tender the next day, it didn't take as long, especially with the stricter implements, for him to get me to the point where he wanted me to be. And, unlike if I had earned a punishment spanking, a punishment would not have been lessened simply cause I was already tender. I would have tasted the full fruit of what I had earned. These maintenance spankings brought home Very much, in body and mind, Who is still in charge of our marriage, and it most certainly isn't me! And the fact that he gave me a specific thing to think about each time, really brought home the maintenance aspect. And, using a different implement each time, reminded me again in mind and body, what each one Really feels like. He said, once it was all done, that we would do at least two more discipline spankings (single sessions, thank goodness!not week long events!), at two week intervals, and he would decided what he was going to do with maintenance spanking after that. And whatever he wants, is just fine with me. love, AngieAnd that was it, for our forray into maintenance spankings....
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Wow, that's a pretty serious maintenance spanking...lasting a whole week. It sounds like it was pretty effective though. I like how he gave you something to focus on for each one. It was maintenance but it was also about learning a lesson. Your bottom must have been sore!
Wednesday February 28, 2007 - 10:44am (EST) Remove Comment
Yes it was, but, the way he had me prepared, mentaly before, with the journaling helped, as did as you said, having something concrete to focus on. I did reieved the two other spankings, as promised, and that was the last of the maintenance spankings.
Thursday March 1, 2007 - 07:19am (HST) Remove Comment
Recap: Spanko Brunch 2.0 for August 21
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