Saturday, June 27, 2009

my thoughts on dd, HOH relationships, and more.

Hey all,

Now, not saying that I have the answers to everything here, this is nothing more then my opinion.

But for those who maybe wandered in here, and who don't know what HOH is, or dd, etc, thought I'd give my impressions.

First, HOH is simply short for Head of House (or Household). Now, even though in many circles, its almost assumed that the HOH is the man, that isn't always the case. There are couples where she is the HOH, and he is not. I also have many lesbian friends, where one of them is HOH, and it's not always the 'butch' one, either.

Being HOH isn't so much about appearance, or gender, some people have the personality, where they just Are the ones in charge, who are leading, etc. And some of us don't. Oh, I can, if I have to, but I'm much happier in my personal relationships if I'm not.

And, while this is Not politically correct these days, I very much feel that most relationships would be a LOT better of, if there was less of this 'oh we are equal partners' nonsense, and one of them stepped up, as the HOH.

And, while all couples are different, most times, the HOH does not treat their partner like a doormat, never seeking or asking their advice or opinion. Their spouse or partner Is their partner, just the junior partner in the relationship, is all.

Another common misconception, in my opinion, is automatically assuming a HOH relationship implies a dd relationship. DD or dd, by the way, is short for domestic discipline. We'll talk about that in a bit.

A HOH relationship does Not mean that the couple is in a dd relationship, they may be, they may not be.

I know quite few couples, where one or the other is the obvious leader/HOH, but there is no discipline going on there.

DD relationships aren't quite as straightforward as what people think, either. While most DD relationships are also HOH relationships, that isn't always the case. I know of couples where they feel that there should be no HOH, that they are equals, and they discipline each other, if their partner messes up, just the same as they are corrected if they mess up.

I do think, however , that most DD relationships are a one way HOH relationship as well, where the one partner is the full time HOH, and they are the one doing any disciplining.

Note, I said disciplining, not spanking. While spanking is Very common in DD relationships, it's not the only means of correction out there, nor is it required. Some couples never use anything more then say, grounding, or restriction from the phone, or computer, or having their 'allowance' cut back, etc.

Spanking is though, quite common in DD relationships. That, and the other punishments I mentioned, have somthing in common, they are all a 'domestic' type punishment, something, say, that would not have been different than I got as a bratty teen. Well, when I'm a bratty wife, I get the same.

I'll save the 'why spanking' discussion for another day, though.

There are variations of DD, such as CDD (Christian Domestic Discipline), and LDD (Loving Domestic Discipline). I'm not exactly sure just how ldd varies from dd, so can't help much there. I think that is one of those things where there is a lot of overlap, and the actual workings are pretty close. Same with Taken in Hand relationships, heard of them, can't tell you how they work, what is meant by that or how it differs from DD.

As for me,it wasn't till I got online that I had ever heard of DD. In my mind, I had always thought of it as a traditional marriage, and knew that is what I wanted, even as a girl. My friends even thought it was funny when I included 'obey' in my wedding vows. But I meant it, I wanted that, even if I don't always do it. And when I don't he helps remind me of what I'm supposed to do, often while I'm squealing and promising to be good, over his lap.

not much else at this time,



  1. That's a great summary. I'll have to remember this next time I need to explain it.

  2. thanks for the great post Angie
    there also another offshoot based and
    inspired by 1950's traditional marriage.