Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Birth order, and spanking?

I was chatting the other day with a friend, and the converstation switched to basic personality types, how some, like my Husband or her, were ones who felt comfortable being the leader in relationships, natural Heads of House (HOH), if you will.

And how others, such as myself, feel more comfortable when we aren't in a HOH position.

From there, got to thinking of how she, and my Husband, and other HOHs that I know, are overwhelmingly first born.

Whereas many who prefer not to be the HOH, and are in fact, the spankee in their relationships, are usually not the first born.

So, obviously my sample size is small, so what has been your experience?


  1. You are so right Angie! I'm the middle girl of 3 and my older sister is still in a DD relationship she is a bit more of a boss. I tend to flip between roles and my younger sister really craves having to obey someone.

    With my husband he is the oldest and the only boy in his family and as he had a single mother he has developed a dominant personality as he had to run the house in a way from an early age.

  2. My family must be in the minority then. I'm the eldest of three, really laid back and most of the time just go with the flow. Brother is a year younger, quite assertive in his working life, but is a bit hen-pecked by his wife. Maybe just me, but I find it really unattractive in a guy, esp one who is 6"4and really BIG. Younger sister, by 10 years, is VERY in charge. She's not in a relationship, but she's the person who gets things done, always speaks her mind and bosses everyone around.

  3. This is very interesting, I am the last born in my family - although there is a considerable age difference between us.
    However I consider myself a submissive, but in actuality struggle with not leading in ways (and have lead in social groups before).
    I love submitting, and enjoy being led when it comes to my sexual relationships but struggle outside of that.
    At work I am the boss, and I use leadership as a way to overcome my personal fears and shyness.
    Therefore I find it quite hard to submit sometimes, but DD is the best thing that ever happened to me and I love kneeling at my husbands feet (so to speak) ;-)

    Great post, thanks for the thoughts...

    Mrs M

  4. I'm number 4 of 5. My 2 older sisters (#1 and #3) and only brother (#2) are all HOH types, particularly my brother and sister #3. I'm more submissive, though not totally so. My little sister (#5) is very submissive. So I think the birth order does make a difference but it isn't a direct relationship.

  5. This is a complicated answer for us: Brad is actually the youngest sibling but there is a signicant age difference between older brother and sister, also, he is the only child of the man him mom married and stayed with. Siblings are 1/2 sibs. If I remember correctly, I have heard that the technically gives him first born traits. He defianately has some of the. However, his father modeled complete passivity in his marriage, he didn't do anything but mind his own business and ignore everybody else most of the time. Thank God Brad is not like that, but sometimes he is more passive than I'd like. I, on the other hand, was a first born, and fit the role well. During most of our marriage we struggled over control. It wasn't horrible, but there were some pretty rough times here and there. Now that I'm the submissive partner, I am happier, he is happier...


  6. Hello Angie-
    Interesting blog. I have been thinking about doing one of these myself. Well, you pretty much know my situation already, but for others here...
    I am the last born. My wife is first born. And just like you said in your question she is the Dominant in our relationship. That is weird I never thought about that. But I am a switch technically so I am a little bit of a fluke for your theory.

  7. Hi, I'm Hanna. I'm the first born of 2, and I'm submissive. Even though I get bossy to my little brother;do this! do that! etc. In DD relationship, I get cocky and unreasonably demanding to earn a spanking. He says it's more like a temper tantrum as I stomp my feet and pout to get what I want...;)