And yes I said spankings, not spanking!
As some of you might know, my Husband has started maintenance discipline with me, again. We've only done that for one other period in our marriage.
Currently, I'm getting it twice a week, on Tue and Thur mornings after Leah has left for school, he doesn't want to have to worry about being quiet, or me having to worry about being quiet.
The last time we did this, (I have that story in my archives, under maintenance...) I will admit I had a lot of trouble getting my head around the concept of 'but I've been good, and you are Still going to spank me?!', but he had me research it before he started it, and, to help me, for which I'm thankful, he gave me something to focus on each time. It wasn't like I was being punished, but like with a punishment, for me to have something to focus on meant that I wasn't just being spanked, but was being taught a lesson, it had a reason.
He has done the same thing this time, thankfully. Say, one time I might be told, 'okay hon, I want you to remember to work on not gossiping, and what I consider gossip, do you understand?'
And when I tell him I do, he starts.
Or the theme of the day might be (and has been) my language, temper, sarcasm, etc.
I don't know why, but yesterday was Very hard for me. Now, I love being in a CDD relationship, I know that he is in charge, I love that he is in charge, I know I do better with this, but gosh, yesterday I was feeling like Such a baby about this that I actually ended up posting a couple of 'vent's at a group. And thank you ladies for your support.
And then I was reading some posts in some of the groups, and it dawned on me just how little I had to fuss about, when I compared what I had going on, with what some of our poor sisters have going on in their lives! It Really put things in perspective. I have no reason to fuss or complain, I have it very, very good, and should be much more grateful, and even more thankful for what I've been given.
So at least I went to bed with that attitude.
When I got up this morning, I was cuddled up to him, funny how I'll often go to sleep spooned by him, but wake up snuggled and cuddled with my head on his chest and in his arms. My nighty was of course up around my neck, he teases me about why I bother to wear it, and I tell him if I have to leave the house in a hurry, at least it will fall down. And while I had started the night with panties they seem to have disappeared as well.
But when he was awake, and don't you love waking up before him, and just looking at him? And okay, it's possible that my friends tease me for being a rather randy little thing normally, but gosh, since he's started the maintenance discipline, its like All I can think about is him having me! Anyway he wants, as often as he wants! I just want to sit by him, cuddle with him, sit on his lap, lay over his lap, have him bed me, have him bend me over and just Take me.
So it was with those meditative thoughts that I was stroking his chest, and when he woke up, I asked him if I could talk to him about my maintenance spanking that I had coming this morning, and how I had been feeling and some thoughts I had.
As a digression, and I know I do that a lot, sorry, this was something I had to get my head around early in our marriage, that I needed to ask him, or that I had something I needed to talk to him about, not Tell him something.
So I told him about my feelings and emotions and feeling so sorry for myself, and being so self involved and having a pity party.
He asked me if I felt guilty about it, and I was on the verge of tears again, I've been so super emotional lately, that I just nodded on his chest yes.
He told me that I'd be getting spanked this morning for that then, to help me get rid of those feelings, and I thanked him.
But, then he told me that he already had a separate lesson picked out for today, so he thought that a second spanking was needed!
I kissed him and said 'yes Husband, whatever you think is best dear' and then he sent me to go get the family lexan paddle from it's place on the wall by the fridge, and bring back my hairbrush as well.
Then it was over his lap, nighty back up, bottom bared, and I feel like such a girl again, instead of a woman at times like this, and then I feel like a woman too, when I think of All that he can see when I'm like that, but gosh its different when it's not fooling around and punishemnt or discipline.
I don't feel sexy at such times, just well, embarrassed. And I know that he is enjoying the view and how I feel, he's told me so, that even though its a punishment or correction, he still appreciates my body.
Well, the first spanking I got was 'his' spanking, he told me he wanted to work on my arrogant attitude at work and with other women, and I caught it with both brush and the paddle, ow! And while no, not as bad as a punishment spanking, oh it was bad enough and it got my attention! I was crying pretty quickly, and very much assured him I'd watch my arrogant attitude, you bet!
Then it was my bare bottom in the corner for a bit, and then I was sent to get him the small strap, the convent strap, from London Tanners for you that know the site.
This spanking was over his lap as well, for which I was thankful, I think most of us agree, besides it being easier when your position is draped over something, nothing is quite as good as His lap to be draped over, and then I got my spanking for being self involved, and self pity, and oh gosh I got the message from the very first lick!
More corner time followed, and then we reconnected as he comforted me. He was already fairly hard, when I finished undressing him, and I got him all the way hard in my mouth, and I tried the no hands bit, giggle, but then used them, and I Loved his hands softly in my hair, I felt So sexy and so sexual, and when he was ready, he put me on the bed, my legs around his waist, and my fanny, my poor sore welted bottom rubbing against the sheets as he took me, and ohhhh yesss that added to the sensation!
I Love wrapping my legs around him, wanting More of him, I want his hands under my bottom, squeezing and pinching and taking me, sigh.
Well, I was there and back, and there and back again, and feeling like I was going to shatter, when he pulled out, and put me on my tummy, lifted my bottom up, and then slid into me from behind, his thighs 'spanking' my bottom again, oh gosh yes!
And then, well! He slid out and then rubbed over my back door, and when I 'winked', in he went! And gosh, I clamped down So hard and came so hard again!
And so, that was why I was sitting so tenderly, but happily, all day.
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