Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Feeling young, reparenting, and where my head is at lately


(drawing by Leander, at http://animeotk.com/ )
Not sure why I feel a bit embarrassed to write this one, but it wants out so here it is.

At various groups I belong to, both vanilla and not, and just listening to other women and family, the topic, as it often does when women gather, has been freqently turning to how they were brought up, and how they are raising their families. Even the young single women get in on this.

And, it's not just about I was spanked, or wasn't. It's all the little details, like, was grounding used? And if so, how. Because if you haven't asked around, not all groundings are equal, not by a Long shot.

As an example, for a variety of reasons, grounding in my family, both getting and then giving, was used fairly seldom. And when it was, it meant confined to the house, usually, with no tv, no music, etc.

A friend of mine uses what I call by comparision, a Strict grounding, as opposed to my more general grounding. Her naughty one if grounded, will be confined to their room, except for meals, chores, and bathroom time. My niece Leah just experienced a week of that, after her little party at the cabin and 2 hour past curfew incident.

Or there are other ways families do things. What rules do they have? Which are strictly enforced?

Do they warn? How many times?

Do they have a reward/demerit system? Is it posted?

If they spank, and use an implement, is it in plain sight at all times?

Are spankings given in private?

If the parents practice domestic discipline, do the kids know about it?

Do they homeschool?

If they homeschool, are they relaxed, kids learn at their own pace? Or, do the kids wear uniforms, at home, during school time to remind them this is school time? (and yes, I know quite a few families that do this....)

Have they chosen to send the kids to a school that spanks?

Are the parents two Mommies, instead of a single parent or a Mommy and Daddy? (or in one of my ongoing fantasies, is one of the women actually Daddie? It's a particular Lesbian dynamic I'm not going to get into now).

But you see what mean. Maybe. Families are Not equal, there are endless variations and differences.

Which brings us back to me. Ever since I've been a girl, I've wondered what it would be like, to live someplace else, in a different family, different place, different time. And, it's not like what some think,I had a very happy childhood, was very loved and cared for.

But even as a girl, I wondered, 'what if?' What would it be like, to be a daughter in a different family, different rules, different ways of doing things? What if my school spanked!? Would it be in front of everyone? Would I get it again at home? Would I have to wear a uniform?

Or what if I were a girl today, with all todays' tempations? With cell phones, computers and endless channel cable tv.....

So yes, even now, as old as I am, I often fantasize about what it would be like, to be a girl again. And not talking just role play, or me at my age 'acting' young. But somehow, whether with some sci-fi gadget, or some Harry Potter magic, but poof! There I am, young again. Sometimes with all my adult memories still there, sometimes not, all sorts of variations in my fantasies.

But to those around me, I Am that age.

What I haven't figured out, is when I think this, I'm almost always either 8, or 14. Sometimes 12. Occasionaly something else, but usually those three.

14, I can kind of see. See, um, even though I'm 3rd of 4 sisters, I was always the more passive and shy one. And, I was also a late bloomer. Very late.

Right now, I'm only 5'4", about 125lbs. I'm 34b (and um, most of that 34 is from working out and not breast)-28 (but flat!)-38. sigh. Like I have my Irish grandmothers chest, and my German grandmothers bottom, I don't match.

My sisters on the other hand, well. All three are in the 5'8" 5'9" range. My older two were literally homecoming/prom queens, cheerleaders, etc.

My younger sister was very much one of those cute tomboy jockettes the boys love.

Me, even at 13, no development yet. And my 11 year old sister was getting pretty close to my size if not my size.

By the time I was 14, she was bigger then I was. I really didn't start getting curves at all, till I was 15, and not Just 15 either.

So even by the time I was 12, my extended family treated me more like the baby of the family.

So that is why I know I think of 14 so often.

But been thinking a lot, when I read blogs, chat with people, etc, about how their family is, or was, what it would be like, to be in their family, what would it be like to if they did strict detention. What would there reward/demerit chart be like? Would Mommy or Daddy be the spanker? How would they spank? shiver....

so,that's what I've been thinking of lately.

love,

me

1 comment:

  1. Wow, you have been thinking alot ;-)

    I have wondered also from time to time what it would have been like to be a child in a different family, but then I begin to realize I wouldn't have liked it as much as my own upbringing so put the thought out of my mind!

    However if you ask my hubby, he will tell you I go through stages from time to time of acting like I am 13-16 y/o anyway! LOL!

    (hugs)
    Mrs M

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